In the last week I have received numerous emails from people wanting to know how they can help to ease the pain their friends are suffering as they have to face Christmas and the holiday season without their baby/ies.
Firstly how awesome is it that people want to help their friends who have experienced such a loss? If you are one of these friends reading this, than you should know that this world needs more friends like you.
There are so many things you could do to help ease your friend or loved one’s pain. Here are a few things you may find helpful.
ACCEPT. Firsty, accept that your friend or loved one may not feel up to participating in family gatherings or events. Allow them to hibernate if that is what they need to do.
REMEMBER.Make sure that in your Christmas or holiday card to them you mention their childs name. Even if you just say that you are remembering or thinking of their child. This will mean more to them than you will ever know.
SPEAK. Do not be afraid to speak their childs name aloud. You are not reminding them that their child died. They did not forget. More than often a bereaved parent wants to make sure that their child is not forgotten so hearing their childs name come from the mouth of others is the most beautiful Christmas Carol they could ever hear.
HONOUR. There are many things you could do in memory for your friend’s baby. You could make them a special Christmas ornament with their child’s name. You could release a balloon for them (make sure you get photos of the release for the family). You could light a candle for their child and photograph it for the family, better still you could give the family a special candle in memory of their child.
You could visit the childs grave site and leave flowers or some special coloured Christmas fairy dust. Write the child a little card and leave it there for the family to find. This would be such a gift to them.
All in all there really are so many things you could do but the most important thing is to acknowledge their child. This is the greatest gift.
Try to stay clear of comments like “She is in a better place” and things like that. Their child should be with them at Christmas time.
Wishing you all lots of love for this time of the year, and if you were wanting to help out a friend or family member this holiday season I hope you found this helpful.