When we left the hospital Sam carried my bags and pillow for me. I should have been carrying our baby. But he stayed there at the hospital. Without us. We left our beautiful baby at the hospital where his little body was later burned down to ashes. Leaving the hospital without your baby is an experience no one should have to endure. Ever.
Somewhere in Perth Western Australia, someone created a box for our family. It was hand painted. Inside were a few pamphlets for us to read about healing after the los of our baby. There was also a small hand-made woolen hat that our son wore for the shortest time. We will probably never meet the anonymous person who created this box for us, and what a shame that is. What I would give to say thank you to them. Because of that person…
At Luminous Light we are really passionate about helping women who experience the loss of a baby, to heal. Research shows that the way you are treated by health professionals when you experience a loss can dictate how you will experience the grieving process. So with that being said we think that it is absolutely necessary that every woman who experiences a loss in a hospital is given the love and quality care that they deserve. It is so important for hospitals to be able to provide grieving families with a special memory box. It is something for them to carry out of the hospital. It shows them that their baby existed and that they are loved and remembered.
For your own healing and in honour of your baby you may want to look into creating a memory box for a family who suffered the same sort of loss as yourself. If you received a memory box from the hospital you would know just how much they mean.
You can watch my very detailed youtube video clip on how to create a memory box by clicking here.
Below is an example of one of our basic memory boxes. Things that you could include in a memory box are:
- 2 Blankets
- Washer for bath time
- Teddy bear
- Special candle holder
- Scented candle
- Flower seeds
- Disposable camera
- Symbolic ornament
- Photo Frame
- Blank cards for hand and foot prints
- Organza bag for a lock of hair
- Moisturiser for Mum
- Outfit for baby
I have some really lovely free downloadable cards that you could include in your boxes. You can find all the different ones through these links below.
Sympathy Card for a Memory Box for a Baby Boy or Girl (Unisex)
Sympathy Card for a Memory Box for a Baby Girl
Sympathy Card for a Memory Box for a Baby Boy
Sympathy Card for Multiple Babies Memory Box
Memory Box Certificates (Luminous Light)
There are many organizations around the world where you can donate to them and they will make up a memory box and donate it to a hospital. You may want to contact them to see if there is a way for you to help out. While we think this is a really wonderful idea we always recommend that if you ever get the chance to, actually make up a memory box yourself. They mean so much to the families who receive them and what you may not realise is that the act of generosity and love that you will give will also help in your healing process.
Before embarking on this creative journey, contact the hospital that you wish to donate the box to and make sure that they will accept it first. The last thing you want is for it to be rejected. While most hospitals will gladly take your beautiful box, some are still stuck in the past and have very little education when it comes to bereavement.
Much love to you all and remember if you are going to set out on a memory box making quest, don’t make it about numbers, make it about love!