A little bit about me…
Who I am.
I am messy – joyful – brave – loving – broken – anxious – frustrated – awestruck and grateful. I am an artist, a mother and a chronic pain survivor. I believe kindness can always be spread. You will never regret being kind. I believe in having an authentic, open heart. I believe in accepting others just as they are.
I have a real passion for connecting with women. Especially when it comes to helping mamas who have gone through grief and trauma after experiencing the death of a baby or child. I spend my days working with women to help them find healing and passion again in their lives after loss. There is nothing like witnessing a woman find her spark again. I have been so lucky to have connected with thousands of women from all over the world – my heart is full!
Damn this is hard. I’m so glad I had no idea of what I was in for before I became a mother. I find myself saying “I can’t do this” often. My heart feels like it has lived a 1000 years. I sometimes cannot believe my own resilience let alone the resilience of my daughters. When I write down some of the stuff that we have been through, I can’t believe I am still breathing. Traumatic births, a NICU stay, multiple miscarriages, a stillbirth, serious illnesses and broken bones. We have been touched by ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. I was not prepared for the fact that children can suffer immeasurably. This is something I struggle with every day. My children are the light of my life. They inspire me to be a better human being. They are my greatest teachers. Being a mama to a child who has died is not a lesser experience than being a mama to a living child. They are just two different experiences that are equally as precious. To all you gorgeous mamas out there, in all your beautiful shapes and forms, I send you my love. We are in this together.
Sam and I started dating in 2003 and life was pretty peachy. Being married is kind of wild. It has been rocky and fun and horrible and beautiful and I kind of feel like that is pretty normal. Sam carried me through the darkest days of our lives when Christian died. I am not sure he mentioned he had that super power when we first met, but yeah, he was all kinds of wonderful. Like myself, Sam has a passion for helping others to find their passion for living. He is a personal trainer and helps people to change their lives for the better.
Remaining grounded is really important to me. From becoming a mother, to grieving, to healing, to working, to traveling, my life is crazy busy, so for me to try to keep a handle on it all, I need my time to stop, breathe and reconnect. I am blessed to be able to live in one of the most beautiful spaces in the world where I am able to visit the beach as much as I like. The ocean heals me. It is my space. My two favourite practices are yoga and mindfulness.
I try to live my whole life with it.
Shame, Shadows and Light.
I have come to learn that the only thing I am perfect at is being human. I have made so many mistakes in this life. I have disappointed people, disappointed myself, broken hearts, been a bitchy wife, a lousy friend. I have known addiction and made excuses. I have been the victim and attached to all of that was a big fat cloud of shame. Shame is an awful thing. It ruins lives and keeps people living in fear. At some point I forgave myself for being human and set myself free. I spend my life trying my best to be a worker of light on this planet and spreading as much compassion as possible. I succeed and fail at this on a daily basis. One truth I know is that kindness is free and you should treat yourself to it more often.
You are worthy of a beautiful life. No matter what you have been through, no matter how deep you are stuck, there is always light and you have the power to stand up and bring yourself back into it. You have the power to choose healing, to choose life and that is the truth, all excuses aside.
Although I find the weather fascinating, its not really a topic of conversation I am all that interested in when it comes to talking with you. I want talk about who you are as a human being and what it is that you are passionate about. I want to talk about the universe and how freaking amazing it is that we are at the center of it. I want to talk about the things that scare you, what challenges you, what breaks you, what inspires you, what heals you. We are here for only a short time and I want to learn as much as I can, so I have all the time in the world for deep conversation.
Wow, I can talk can’t I? I just wanted to say thank you for stopping by.
May the sun always come back out for you.