Since Christian died we have had a special place in our home for him. He will never have a room of his own. He will never draw on the walls. There will always be an empty chair for him at our dinner table. He will never add his clothes to the washing. He will never argue with his sisters on who’s turn it is to clear the dinner table. He will never bring me home artwork from school. In saying all of that he is still a part of our family who deserves a place in our home.
We have what some people might call a shrine in our home. It is his place. It is in full view for everyone to see. It is made up with framed photo of his name in the sand, seashells, his ashes, candles, a mirror, a bottle of beach sand from his beach and many other little pieces of magic. It has treasures from people who live all over the world. This place is quiet and beautiful. It is my art studio at the very front of our home. Creating a shrine for your child is a beautiful and ongoing experience that creates meaning and brings healing. You will forever be able to add things and change things. A friend of mine collects pieces of sea glass when she visits the beach, another friend collects treasures that her and her son find on the forest floor.
♥ Creating Your Sacred Space
Before you create your space in your home, dedicate a special time to do this. Clean and clear the area. Light a candle and set an intention for love, honour and peace. Say your child’s name as you light the candle. Allow this candle to burn as you create your space. Ply some beautiful music. Do you have any music that reminds you of your child? If not, I recommend listening to some of Max Richter or Ludivico Einaudi.
♥ Get Creative
Allow yourself to be creative here. You might want to put up some fairy light or hang some photographs with twine and wooden pegs. If you are looking for some inspiration you can visit my pinterest board on Sacred Spaces.
A wonderful idea for your sacred space is to bring in the 4 main elements. Fire, Water, Earth and Air. I always like to add a 5th, being spirit.
There are so many things you could do to create a sacred space in your home for your child. I highly recommend this as it has been a step forward in my healing process. These sacred spaces give you a place to reflect and just be however you need to be. They are also wonderful if you have other children. They are a gentle and safe way for your other children to remember and honour their sibling. Let them add their own touches to the shrine. Whether it is a painting, drawing, a letter they have written or a treasure that they have found on a walk in the park.
Another wonderful idea is to create a memory board. You can fill it with anything you want, cards, photographs, ribbon or quotes. It grows with you. I think if you choose to create a memory board you should photograph it every time you change it. That way it is a sort of documentation of your grief. It would be so interesting to go back and look at how it changed , how you changed.
I wish you a beautiful healing time in creating a space in your home for your child/en.