I have always found that the lead up to Christian’s birthday/anniversary of his death was so much harder the actual day itself.
In the lead up to his first two birthdays I felt physically ill just thinking about it. The day itself has only ever been beautiful. Sad of course, but very beautiful.
If I can recommend anything to help you on your child/ren’s birthday/anniversary it would be to plan ahead.
Below are some wonderful ideas of things that you could do on your childs special day.
Plant a special tree.
Planting a tree whether it is at your home or a place that allows you to plant a tree is such a special way to remember your child. It also gives you a special place for you to visit and reflect at, especially if your child/ren were cremated and they do not have a final resting place.
When choosing a tree look for one that will suit the environment that it will be planted in. Choose a strong healthy tree.
On Christian’s birthday I always photograph the sunrise and sunset. I keep the photos in his birthday album.
Donate a memory box.
In the lead up to your child/ren’s birthday/anniversary you could contact the hospital your child was born at (if your child was born at home, you could contact the hospital of your choice) and find out whether or not they will accept a memory box from you. Creating a memory box will give a newly bereaved family something to take home from the hospital.
Things to put in the box:
Two blankets (one for the baby to be wrapped in and one for the family to keep)
A small photo album
A Teddy Bear
A candle and candle holder
A special ornament like a butterfly or dragonfly.
Hold a Butterfly or Dove Release.
I have been fortunate enough to be apart of a Monarch Butterfly release and it was truly such a gorgeous experience that my other children we mesmerised with. Butterfly and Peace Dove releases can be expensive and not everyone can afford to do something like that, so you may want to have a look around on the internet for the best prices.
Have a special dinner.
I found in the past we failed to plan anything for dinner time. We planned our day well but we had nothing planned for the night. The night-time for me was the hardest part of the day. I recommend doing something in the evening. Have a special dinner, enjoy some good food and even have a cake for dessert. Have people over to be with you if you feel that would help Choose only friends and family who have comforted you in the loss of your child/ren.
Have some quiet time.
Light a candle for your child/ren. If you can on the evening of their birthday sit outside and look up at the stars. Play some music.
The two most popular ideas for memorials are Balloon and Lantern Releases.
We used to do balloon releases but after some research I discovered that while they are so beautiful they can really harm the environment and even hurt animals so if you choose to do a balloon release speak to the people who you purchase them from and make sure that your balloons are 100% biodegradable and that you use crepe paper for the ribbon. If you choose to do a Lantern Release, make sure that they are legal in your area. In Western Australia where I live Lantern Releases are illegal as they have caused bush fires.
I hope that these ideas have sparked an idea of your own heart. I wish you all the love in the world for your child/ren’s special day.
With love,
