Fertility and Peace Mama Altar

We will never have another baby. I’m done. He’s done. We’re done. All up I have carried 6 babies in my womb. We got to hold 4. We got to keep 3.

I will be honest in saying that I am relieved I never have to go through the experience of trying to conceive and then endure the months of worrying and anxiety that comes with being pregnant after such a loss. I have my 3 girls to mother over and I am so grateful that got to keep them.

So many of my friends are trying to conceive. For some it is easy to fall pregnant, for others it feels to them as almost impossible and then there are my friends who have genetic issues. It is just so cruel. I find it so hard to sit back and watch. There is little I can say that would make any difference to how they are feeling. But I am there, to listen, to hope, to cry with them. To take photos of their growing bellies and then if we are lucky, I get to photograph their live and healthy babies. I am there.

Each night when I return from my visit to the beach. I light candles for my friends who are trying to conceive and some for those who are carrying babies in their wombs after a loss. It’s just a simple moment that I take to lift them up in prayer. It used to be  a very basic altar filled with candles and pieces of moonstone. I have many altars throughout my home, all of them holding a different purpose. After visiting my friend Angie‘s art studio on Etsy I found one of her meditating mama paintings. Oh my goodness, I was so meant to find her. Within a couple of weeks, Angie’s meditating mama had crossed the seas and this morning she arrived into my hands.

Angie suggested to me that I could write my friend’s names down on some paper and place some pieces of rose quartz and malachite over the names and so I have done just that. I wrote all the names I could think of. And I so I pray for them.

If you are trying to conceive after a loss or you are already pregnant and feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and worry, maybe you could have a think about creating an altar for yourself. It is a sacred space that you create. A moment for you to sit down close your eyes and take some deep breaths. You could write yourself out a mantra such as Breathe in Peace, Breathe out Worry.

Allow yourself to feel that worry and release it.  Concentrating on slowing down your breathing will help to calm your heart and mind.

If you would like me to write down your name to have it placed on my altar, just let me know by leaving me a comment here or on facebook. I would be honoured to include you in this precious space.

Sue ♥ Jodie ♥ Franchesca ♥ Corina ♥ Teresa ♥ Angie ♥  My gorgeous friends, this space is for you and all the other women out there who are walking this road. I carry you all in my heart, always. And whether you carry your babies in your arms or only in your hearts, you are all beautiful mamas.

 

Comments

  1. Would love to be included at your alter Carly, thank you xx Lisa… TTC after loss.

  2. Laura Donald says:

    I would be most grateful if you could kindly add my name to your altar. Thankyou xxx

  3. Could you please add my name, i am ttc after a stillborn. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Stacey xxx

  4. Ani Tamaki says:

    Would love to be included please, still TTC after loss. I love the thought of creating an alter. Thank you so do much xx

  5. I am less than four weeks away from birthing my son after losing my daughter last September. Her one year birthday would have been this Thursday. Please add my name to the list, this week has been especially full of worry, I would like to feel more at peace. Xoxo, Amie

  6. What a beautiful idea xxx

  7. Elizabeth Wheeldon says:

    Dear Carly, could you please include my name on your altar? Thank you lovely lady xxx your prayers and thoughts would mean so much to me! Looking so forward to seeing you again in October xxxxxx <3

  8. I’d love to be included on your altar! My goodness you are an awesome person doing all that you do for others. In return i will light a candle for you and your family (including your angel(s)) that i do weekly xx

  9. Kerry Gordon says:

    What a lovely idea, thank you. I am pregnant with my rainbow after losing my little boy last November, This week has been particularly full of worry and anxiety (I am 24 weeks).
    xxxx, Kerry

  10. Eleanor Marsden says:

    Hi Carly, last yr you wrote my babys name (Alfie) in the sand for me – we lost him due to Edwards syndrome and he lived for 3 1/2 months. I am expecting again and my due date is actually today, I am a nervous wreck. If you could include me in your thoughts I would be very grateful. Love n best wishes to you and yours, Eleanor x

  11. Lisa Fleming says:

    I would love to be included Carly. Very early on with rainbow no.3, 6yrs after my only baby girl was stillborn at 34wks Xxx

  12. Hi Carly, A little over a year ago you wrote our angels name in the sand. Since then your pictures have touched me. We just had our first IVF transfer since the lost of our son. I would love your thoughts and energy while we wait to find out the outcome. Thank you for your strength and wonderful pictures.

  13. Thank you so much beautiful friend ♥♥♥ Honored to call you a friend!!!

  14. Hi Carly, you did a beautiful sunset name for my Wyatt, who was stillborn in April, and my second loss. I am currently 5 weeks pregnant with my rainbowvand would love to be included. It is such a great idea, I would love to create one myself. Thank you so much for all you do, you have been a huge inspiration to me.

  15. love this space

  16. Candy Retson says:

    Thank you for what you do for so many people. You bring so much peace to those of us just going through this terrible kind of loss.

  17. This is so lovely, Carly. I’d love to be included…we need all the prayers we can get! I’m 30 weeks pregnant with our rainbow on Wednesday. <3

  18. Hi Carly, what an absolutely beautiful and kind thing for you to do. Would you please include me? I am currently TTC after losing my son, Benjamin, at birth just over four months ago. Thank you so much.

  19. Maria Ramirez says:

    I am forever grateful for having found you. You’re site and postings bring me peace and hope. I am 5 weeks pregnant after having lost my angel Isaac at 23weeks. Last Thursday was his due date. My heart was aching for him but joyous for my new rainbow. Please add me to your prayer list. I need all the help I can get, Maria.

  20. Kristyna says:

    Hello Carly. I’m Kristyna I had a miscarriage back in April on the 23. I had my first ultrasound and my dr told me there was no heartbeat. It devestated me. I so badly wanna be a momma!!!! Everytime I see a woman pregnant or find out one of my friends is pregnant I can’t help but feel jealous and just want that to be me. Please include me in your blessings & prayers. Someday i’ll get that special joy to be a mom. Till then I just need to come to terms with everything and work through it.

  21. Amy Fessler says:

    I would love to be included in your prayers. I am currently pregnant for the 2nd time. We lost our precious son last October at 20 weeks of pregnancy. His due date was March 16, 2012. This baby’s due date is March 17, 2013. Thank you!!

  22. Gary Perkinson - father of Clarice Williams says:

    Carly, I would just like to thank you for bringing hope and peace into my daughter’s life after the loss of our grandson Ciaran. You are a beautiful spirit that gives new meaning to the word “Hope. We pray each day that a new child will soon be brought into this world by my daughter and her husband. With all of the unhappiness in the world, wouldn’t it be wonderful if those that really want a child were especially rewarded with his blessing… Thank you and continue doing what you do… you are a very special person.

  23. Carly, Thank you for everything you do. I am 8 weeks pregnant after 4 losses and would appreciate being included in any prayers. We have had a very difficult time conceiving since our first loss of our daughter at 13 weeks, whose name you wrote in the sand.

  24. Hello…would you please include me as I am 29 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby after a loss last August at 39 weeks. Our Son will be having his 1st Heavenly Birthday on the 23rd this month, it took us almost 21 years to get pregnant with him only to have him grow angel wings 4 days before scheduled birth. I have suffered Anxiety since then only to have it worsen during this pregnancy. I would be ever so grateful!! Thank You!!!

  25. Thank you Carly, a wonderful gesture, please include me in your prayers. I lost my son last year and have been trying to conceive. God Bless to all.

  26. Carly, please include my name. I am 39. My son passed away at 4 months of age. He would have turned 3 on 8/27. I have also had 2 miscarriages (1 before and one after my son). I recently found out that I was born with only half of my uterus which has made things that much more complicated. It would be greatly appreciated if you would add my name to your list. I am also going to create my own altar and will add the names here and those of your friends as well.

  27. Narelle Schwartz says:

    I would love to be in your prayers. We started our family fairly quickly with our gorgeous daughter who is now 10 years old. In Dec 2002 when she was 6 months old we started ttc another child. Wanted them close in age. The universe had other heart breaking plans. It took a GP 6 years to listen to us and refer us to a fertility clinic. They were souless creatures. Assholes of the human race. We finally fell pregnant after 7.5 years ttc our second child. We were so happy finally it was our turn. finally after a life time of watching everyone else around us add to their family’s it was finally our turn. We miscarried our much wanted bodhi. It tore me into pieces, it shook me to the core it broke my foundations, my heart, my soul, my faith in all things right and just. We are still fighting the battle and keep being thrown road blocks in our journey. Its now been post poned to Jan 2013 yet again we are torn and broken. Dec 2012 marks our tenth year trying for another child. I would really appreciate your hope, your love, your support and your prayers. As i have prayed everyday for the last 9 years and 8 months of my life. And he definitely isn’t listening to my broken soul of a record.

    Narelle Schwartz

  28. please include my name, kathrin. the name of my daughter is lilli, we lost her 2009. i´m now pregnant with a new daughter, her name is greta. we hope for the best. love and peace. kathrin

  29. Wendy Keefer says:

    What a beautiful idea. I think I will create an altar and would be honored to be included in your prayers! You already helped so much by writing our sweet Baby K’s name in the sand and a large canvas print of your photo hangs in our home. We are TTC after this loss and hoping for the best moving forward, but never forgetting.
    Wendy

  30. Erika Arias Luna says:

    Hello Carly!!
    You are such an amazing and tender woman, i would like to make an altar for my own but im still dealing with my emotions even though my precious Santiago went to heaven 6 months ago still gets a little bit difficult to create something cheerful and hopeful! My husband and i are going to start trying to get pregnant again….. i need hope, i need courage, but the most i need to take away my fear that something wrong or worse is going to happen again…so for all these reasons it seems that my capacity of being creative is gone or stuck, can i have some ideas?? and I would appreciate and be so amazingly grateful if you can add me in your altar and prayers as well. Love and light for you!! with so much love. Erika, Bart and our beautiful angel Santiago!! :)

  31. Please include us in your prayers as we decide whether to try again and if so that the pregnancy is healthy with a live baby at the end.

  32. Carmen Hopper says:

    We would be greatful to be included in your prayers – we are ttc after having a stillborn son (conceived through IVF) and losing our miracle rainbow to a late miscarriage (conceived naturally).
    You are an amazing lady Carly

  33. My husband and I have been ttc for just about 6 years. We have been to a fertility specialist and have tried several procedures without success. I would really love if you can add us to your prayers. Thank you!

  34. I am terrified to be pregnant again but the love I learned to have after meeting my son makes it worth the risk for now. I want a baby to mother so so bad. Please keep us in your heart as we try this path yet again…big hugs to you and all the loss mamas here.

  35. Isabella O'Rourke says:

    Hi. If you would like, you may add my name to your list. Thank you.

  36. Denise O'Sullivan says:

    Hi Carly, I have just come across your website and it is beautiful.. I lost my twin boys 8 months ago, Luke was stillborn and Arthur died at two weeks old, I can still hardly breathe. We have battled with infertility for years, these were our miracles. Since I have had two frozen transfers but they were unsuccessful. Now I am a mess, we are trying again in October so I would really love if you could include us in your prayers. I will also try and build an altar but I find it hard to achieve anything at the moment. I love the mantra… Thank you, Denise & Luke and baby Luke and Arthur

  37. Hi Carly,
    I would love it if you could include my name (Toni) in your prayers. We lost our daughter Vivian to a heart defect when she was almost 6 months old. We have been talking about trying for another baby, but we are filled with fear of the unknown. I will do as you suggest and set up my own alter. But it brings me much comfort to be included in your prayers with all these other women with the same fears, just as it brought comfort to have you write our daughter’s name in the sand (Vivian Mara) where you have written all the other angels’ names. Thank you for your beauty.

  38. Hello angel on earth Carly, I’m not sure if it’s too late but we’d love to be included in this blessing,. We will be TTC after our daughter was born still at 23 weeks. Love to you and your family, Sarah x

  39. Carly I would love to be included in your prayers. My son Lennon was born on 7/8/2011 at 32 weeks and he unexpectedly died an hour after birth. We have been trying to conceive since then. I am working to set up my own altar but would love to be included in yours as well

  40. Carly could you please write down my name. I lost my son almost 2 years ago and lost my rainbow, my daughter, in April. My husband and I are now ttc through the use of a gestational carrier in hopes to bring a baby home.

  41. Carly, what an incrdubly beautiful gesture. I know you are very busy with this weekend but when you time I would love for you to put my name in your altar. We are now 13 weeks pregnant with our miracle rainbow baby. LOve to you and yours. xx

  42. Please Carly would you include me in your prayers and alter, i have been ttc for a year now after the birth of our angel baby Lily last oct. I shall build an alter too, such a lovely idea. I am eternally grateful for all that you do, finding you has transformed my journey through this pain. Heartfelt thanks and love to you, xx

  43. Carly, Please include my name on your altar. We would love prayers too. We have had 2 miscarriages since late January 2012. Katelynne is the first baby we lost. Thanks so much for your generous offer. You are incredibly sweet!

  44. What a beautiful soul you are. You wrote my sons name in the sand 3 1/2 years ago, and I followed your blog for some time after that. After losing my son and battling cancer soon after, I am finally blessed to be able to carry another baby… and it’s such a scary thing. I love that you keep doing this work. Healing takes so much time, and it comes in such different forms. I’m surprised at how hard it is to be pregnant again. I’ve longed for a baby for so long and yet I am so scared of losing a baby again. I love this idea of an alter. I’m going to build myself a healing alter as I get through the next 30 months of pregnancy. I love the mantra that you shared here. Bless you… you are a gift to all of us mom who walk around with these holes in our hearts. Bless you.

  45. I lost our first son on December 17, 2012 at full term due to a double nuchal cord. We are considering trying again; it would mean the world to me to have my name on your altar.
    Thank you…so, so, SO very much.
    Namaste,
    Tara

  46. CarlyMarie, thank you so much for your ministry. I just found your blog this weekend and I feel like God led me to it, knowing how much I needed it at this time. I had a miscarriage last month and am still in the process of healing. You have given me so much comfort and hope, and through your site linked me to other sites and individuals who are breaking the silence. I know I am just one of the many lives God is using you to touch. For all you you have done and all you continue to do — Thank you. And thank you for your kind offer. Please add my name to your altar as my husband and I continue on this journey, praying for hope and a rainbow. Praying for you, your family, and your ministry, and sending much love.

  47. Dear Carly, I feel so blessed and grateful that I came across your site. I realize I’m not all alone here. I lost my baby at 11 wks through in vitro 10 days ago, and I would be appreciated to be included in any prayers. My heartfelt thanks and blessings to you and your family.

  48. Hello Carly, what you do for so many parents is truly amazing. you have helped me in ways no one else ever can. because of your kindness and writing in the sand the name of our only daughter Jinnevieve who we lost when i was 5months along in january, we finally have a beautiful piece in honor of our baby girl that we can proudly display in our living room next to her two big brothers. if the offer is still open could you please add my name to your beautiful alter as we truly dream for on last rainbow. we hope to start our nerve-wrecking bur hopeful journey in the next few months and with the help our sweet Jinnevieve to send down her little brother or sister. thank you for everything. with much Love ღஜღ

  49. Dear Carly, what a lovely tought. I lost my frist and untill now only child 20 months ago. Recently i have a lost pregnancy. So i will be so grateful if you would include me in your prayers. Barbara♡

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