The little black birds. They follow me. Everywhere I go. They are at the beach, the school, the freeway, the park, our alfresco. They visit me when I hang out the washing. They tap on the fence and wag their tails at me. They appear when I think of Christian. My friend Teresa believes that these little birds carry the spirits of our little ones gone too soon. She told me this as we were walking in memory of our babies at one of the annual SIDS and Kids walks. These two little back birds had been following us. From that day forward the little black birds would always follow me. They are a connection to heaven, a hello, a kiss, a message from him. So today on our way home from the doctor’s surgery you can only imagine how I felt when one of these little birds flew out in font of my car. I hit it.
I gasped for air as I looked back at Scarlett. She asked me what had happened. I couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t tell her. But I could not leave this little bird on the side of the road knowing it may be injured at my hands. Scarlett has lived through the death of her baby brother, she could handle this. I took a u-turn and I explained to Scarlett that I had hit a bird. She told me that I would have to go and make sure she was okay. I told her that I thought she may have died and that whatever had happened we would take the bird home with us. I found the little bird, she was lying on her side. She was still alive but I knew that there was nothing I could do. I picked her tiny delicate body up in one of the baby blankets that we had with us and I brought her back to car. As we all sat in the car together the little black bird took her last breath in my hands. There was such a heavy silence. Little River asked “Did she die Mama?” I cried. Scarlett being the little healer that she is told me that it wasn’t my fault and that she was not hurting anymore. What a wise soul my daughter has. I gave the little bird to Scarlett to hold on the way home and we decided that we would wait for Dad to come home before we buried her.
Scarlett set up a place in our garden for a little memorial ceremony. She placed flowers and seashells around the bird and we lit some candles and placed them in lanterns that were hanging in the tree. Scarlett wrote the bird a letter apologizing that we had hit her. We said a prayer to the angels to come down and take the little bird to heaven and Scarlett broke down in tears. She didn’t want the bird to go to heaven. Oh my goodness, I felt so hopeless and then I did the most stupid thing I have possibly ever done as a parent. I was desperate to heal Scarlett’s hurting heart. I told her that the little bird would send us a sign in the morning that she was okay. Oh why did I do that?!!! It stopped her tears and she asked me what sort of sign the bird would send us. I dug myself a deeper hole by telling her that she would send us another little bird. Carly!! Anyway, that night as I lay in bed with Scarlett wrapped under my arm I started praying. Praying that Scarlett would forget what I had told her and that she would be magically healed.
In the morning, Scarlett woke me up. “Come on mum we have to look for the sign!” Oh no. Did she really just say that? We got up and I tried to distract her with breakfast. As I was packing her school lunch I heard her scream out from her bedroom. I went running into her room in a panic thinking she had fallen off her bunk bed but instead I found her talking to a little black bird who was sitting on her window sill. Really? Is this happening? It stayed for about a minute before it flew around to our alfresco area. She wagged her tail at us and danced around. The look in Scarlett’s eyes was of pure awe and wonder.”You were right mama, she did send us another bird to let us know she was okay”. I breathed a massive sigh of relief. Did the little black bird hear my desperation to heal my daughter’s broken heart? I don’t know, but to me this was a little miracle.
I got goosies!! And of course tears.
Omg…TEARS!!!!
You have the sweetest soul Carly, and you are raising the most wonderful girls. There are no words to express how honored I feel to have met you xxxx
Oh Carly call me a crazy bird lady, but…. I have tears!! My heart is pounding!? xx
I still feel so poorly that I hit the little bird. I drive past the spot everyday on my way to the beach. I just can’t believe it happened. I really hope it was a sign from her. I am so glad we brought her home even though she did die.
Oh Carly! What a beautiful story and moment! Truly a little miracle!
your tender care for this creature , a lesson passed on to your daughter, and open appreciation from another of the lil birds flock …… sigh… Very touching indeed.
Wow what an amazing story. Thank-you for sharing lovely. XX
Oh Carly! As soon as I started reading this, a song began running through my head…it grew louder and louder as I read, as my heart pumped harder and harder with anticipation with what would happen. Somehow, because of the song, because of your daughter’s name, because of your tender heart, and because of God’s tenderness, I just KNEW that she would receive her sign. How beautiful this sweet story is…your daughter will always remember your tenderness and God’s faithfulness to her childlike faith.
xoxo
Mary
Scarlet Ribbons
I peeked in to say good-night
And there I heard my child in prayer
“And for me, some scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for my hair”
All our town was closed and shuttered
All the streets were dark and bare
In our town, no scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for her hair
Through the night my heart was aching
Just before the dawn was breaking
In our town, no scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for her hair
I peeked in and on her bed
In gay profusion lying there
Lovely ribbons, scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for her hair
If I live to be a hundred
I will never know from where
Came those lovely scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for her hair
Oh Carly, that is just so beautiful!! This story has touched me deeply and given me goosebumps! Thank you so much for sharing xx <3
Thanks so much for this amazing wonderful story. i love it and the way you are writing. Thanks for sharing your way with us. Good morning and love from the Swiss Mountains..Brigitte..Grandma of rainbow.child Till Noah*
You & little River have the sweetest soul!
Wow that story gave me goosebumps how truly touching … You know Scarlett and Tilly are more alike than I realised I can see why they got on so well …:) and as for the bird coming to her what a beautiful sign that is love n hugs to ya girl xxxxxooo
OMG…I cannot stop crying…we have a cardinal visit us the day before we delivered our daughter (we knew she had a fatal condition). We dread when he disappears for awhile..but he always comes back.
I don’t know how you had the fortitude to do that with the bird. I think I would have been sitting in the middle of the road crying with the bird until my hubby came and got me!
Phew….thank you god for sending sweet Scarlett a special friend!!!!!
Oh my. I strongly believe in signs like this, in fact i have a story involving two little baby doves when i needed a sign the most. Remind me to tell you it when i see you soon. Beautiful story Carly xx
What beautiful souls you ALL have. You are all blessed to have each other and we are blessed you share your stories with us. I too had a sign today, not as strong as yours but still a sign all the same I feel. I heard a bird outside that I never heard before and went outside to have a look. I saw it fly on top of the shrub next door. I silently asked him to fly down to the fence to show me a sign but it flew off instead. I started walking back inside feeling disappointed when I heard this other bird making itself very noticed and turned back around to see this nicer looking bird hopping along the fence instead. I had to smile and say thank you for my sign Jacob. My beautiful grandson. Thanks Carly xx