For 18 months we survived the death of our son with no help from anyone else. We didn’t know about the support that could be found on the internet. We didn’t know anyone else who’s baby had died. We did not seek professional counseling. We turned only to each other and to get to sleep each night we played music. We could not fall asleep without it.
In that 18 months we discovered so much in the world of music. It helped. It made us feel alive again. It nurtured our broken souls. Over time we have collected many CDs but of late we have entered into the world of itunes. I will be honest, I love to have a hard copy of my music but I am becoming used to the way that itunes works and I am amazed at some of the things you can find on there!
So after some discussion Sam and I decided that we might start a little music sharing class here on Project Heal. We don’t intend to ‘teach’ as such, rather share with you all. We hope that we can all learn from each other.
The class will go for 6 weeks. It will be held on every Monday evening Perth Western Australian Standard Time. Our dream for this class is that it will help to awaken people walking the road of bereavement to a world of music that they may not know about. Music gives you an outlet to express yourself, your grief, your journey. It allows you to feel whatever you need to feel. We also hope that this is something fun for all the people who take part. We hope that it gives some newly bereaved families something to focus on and a way to find others on this road who they have something else in common with other than the loss of their babies. So what do you have to do to take part?
Each week there will be a different topic, from different genres of music, to different musical experiences you may have had. We will also be looking deeper into song lyrics. There are 3 different ways that you can ‘sign up’ for a music class. You can write a blog post to contribute your thoughts, experience and music clips or you can leave your thoughts/music clips in a comment on here or on our facebook page. If you decide to write a blog post please link back to us and leave the link to your specific music class blog post in the Linky Tool below.
So for tonight’s first music class we would love to hear about what sort of music you love. Did you grow up on any music? Do you play an instrument? Can you sing? Has music played a role in your life after loss? If you can share a song that speaks to your heart at this moment in time, post a youtube clip of it or link us to a pace where we can hear it! Make sure you visit others links, blogs and songs, that is the whole purpose of the class… to discover!
So I love most genres of music. Really Carly? Yes actually! Music moves me in ways that I cannot explain. It brings me to tears. Tears of pure joy and sometimes tears of pure sadness. Oh my goodness, some of my poor mates who have stood by me at live gigs while I bawl my eyes out! I feel so bad for them! But I cannot help it! When I am down at the beach each night I have my head phones in. It not only stops people from asking me what I am doing but it makes each night at the beach just that bit more magical. I usually listen to orchestral pieces when I photographing names. I feel connected to my son that way.
Unlike my husband I do not play any instruments. Sam rocks on the drums! He also plays a little guitar… seriously though, don’t ever ask him to sing LOL SSSshhhhh I didn’t say anything!
I was raised on music like The Doors and Dire Straits, Creedence Clearwater Revival and The Beatles. When I was in my young teens I got into Silverchair, Powderfinger and Pear Jam (God Bless Eddie Vedder!). Because I was a dancer (no not that sort of dancing!) I discovered instrumental and orchestral music. I then discovered score music. I fell in love with composers such as Thomas Newman, Hans Zimmer and James Horner. In my late teens I discover Ben Harper and I never imagined I could ever love another artist as much as I loved him! But then Mumford and Sons came along! I could go on forever about all the sorts of music that I love but in all honesty I could be here for days.
The song that I am going to share with you tonight is called Better Days and it is written and performed by one of my favourite artists of all time – Mr Eddie Vedder. The first time I ever heard it was earlier this year when I was sitting about 5 meters away from Eddie himself. The lyrics to the song are incredible and I truly believe that this song helped me to see the experience of losing my grandfather as a beautiful one. I felt connected to Heaven through this song. It was a release for me. My granddad was free from pain, free from his cancer ridden body and through this song I could see that. You can find the song on the right hand side of this page towards the top of my sidebar, just click on it to listen to the song. Make sure you play it loud! These are the lyrics…
I feel part of the universe open up to meet me
My emotion so submerged, broken down to kneel in
Once listening, the voices they came
Had to somehow greet myself, read myself
Heard vibrations within my cells, in my cells
Singing, “Ah-la-ah-ah, ah-la-ah-ah”
My love is safe for the universe
See me now, I’m bursting
On one planet, so many turns
Different worlds
Singing, “Ah-la-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah, ah”
(Spanish guitar solo)
Fill my heart with discipline
Put there for the teaching
In my head see clouds of stairs
Help me as I’m reaching
The future’s paved with better days
Not running from something
I’m running towards the day
Wide awake
A whisper once quiet
Now rising to a scream
Right in me
I’m falling, free falling
Words calling me
Up off my knees
I’m soaring and, darling,
You’ll be the one that I can need
Still be free
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ikp60YESQA&feature=related
This song has helped me get in touch with my grief. I have this beautiful scene in my head with Jesus walking on the beach with Olivia and I’m walking towards them to see her again, she’s so happy and beautiful…….I go there when the pain feels like its too much to bear throughout my day. Light & Love Bianca
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
Water’s getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I’d see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I’m so used to living underneath the surface
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i’d see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everthing is alright
Everything is alright
Everything is alright
Dont even get me started on Ed & Ben – everyone knows the beach & Edward saved my soul after losing our son 6 months ago, and continues to with the ukuleyle songs album. I actually used to sign my name J,Vedder until i also found BEn & Jef…f buckley and Bono was my first love when i was 12! I digress……….
Im a a PJ old school fan and was a little grunge girl from 18 onwards not Nirvana but PJ all the way and chilli peps soundgarden, ect WEnt & saw PJ twice in my teens and again for the latest tour -AMAZING! and in the mosh i went………
Also i have a little hobbie – i jam and sing at weddings (1 funeral – amazing grace) cant play instruments but singiong has released emotion and grief that was getting stuck in my throat. I will put up my songs (dont know how to put them up seperately) bu the one i think relates most is ‘Even when im sleeping’ as it sounds to me like a conversation between parent and Angel. I recorded it a few weeks ago for a darling Angel mum experiencing her daughters 1st bday(she is a member of your page and LL also)
Yes i ramble on thats why people ask to me to sing so i stop talking! hahaa
Much love guys – I thionk a great idea, as i feel exactly the same after losing our boy i found beauty in nature and in music that i might have lost for a time but will never again, and will never stop sing now
have written one original GLIMMER for my husband 2 yrs ago but cant seem to start one about the sad stuf just yet.
♥ ♥ ♥
Music has saved me -there is no doubt. The first few days after my son died – I played my ‘grief playlist’ over and over. The one that stood out above all others was Things left Unsaid. by Disciple – Although Better Days by Eddie Vedder is also high on the play rotation! Here are the lyrics for Things left Unsaid:
It’s just a matter of time a few days ago
I saw you, you were fine
Remembering what you said
About the book you read
The one I got you
The Beginning of the End
Oh how we’d talk
For hours upon end
What I give
Just to do it again
But you’re lying there
In this hospital bed
Won’t you open you eyes
And let’s talk once again
(CHORUS)
If you fly away tonight
I want to tell you that I love you
I hope that you can hear me
I hope that you can feel me
If you fly away tonight
I want to tell you that I’m sorry
That I never told you
When we were face to face
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/disciple/things_left_unsaid.html ]
Well I’ve been here all night
And I’m watching you
Breathe in and breathe out
Is it really you
Or just a machine
That’s giving you life
And it’s making seem
That there could be hope
I could say to your face
If it weren’t for you
That there would be no grace
That’s covered my life
You took the time
To speak into my mind
And my heart
Words of life
(CHORUS)
So goodbye for now
And I’ll see you again
Some way, somehow
When it’s my turn
To go to the other side
I’ll hold you again
And melt at your smile
Now all I have
Are the ones that I’m with
And you taught me not
To take for granted
The time that we have
To show that we care
Speak into their minds
And their hearts
While their here
And say I love you
My son had been sick in the ICU for 5 months – on a ventilator for the majority of that time. I was reading “The House on Pooh Corner” to him in the days leading up to his death. This song was so spot on -our Pastor played it at his wake.
Thank you for this opportunity to share our music – I think it’s an important step in the healing process.
<3
Carly, when I lost Catharine, I bought Late Night Moods 2 and played the songs over and over. I really identified and still do with Kerri Noble- ‘If no one will listen’ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aheua9SJlo
Maybe no one told you there is strength in your tears
And so you fight to keep from pouring out
But what if you unlock the gate that keeps your secret soul
Do you think there’s enough that you would drown?
If no one will listen
If you decide to speak
If no one’s left standing after the bombs explode
If no one wants to look at you
For what you really are
I will be here still
I will be here still
No one can take you where you alone must go
There’s no telling what you will find there
And, God, I know the fear that eats away at your bones
It’s screaming every step, “Just stay hereâ€
If you find your fists are raw and red from beating yourself down
If your legs have given out under the weight
If you find you’ve been settling for a world of gray
So you wouldn’t have to face down your own hate
I love all kinds of music and love that it takes to times in my life, painful and not.
We were lucky enough to have the beautiful Melinda Schneider share her unrecorded song “Heavenly Reunion’ with us for Isla’s service. She re-recorded it especially for us but she is yet to release it. If she ever releases it will gladly share it with all my baby loss friends.
PS. Bagpipes make me cry a river. I joke and say it’s my Scottish ancestry.
Music has definitely played a huge role in my healing since losing Jenna. more than anything the songs have taken on new meaning, deeper meaning. It only takes a few notes to take me back to the happiest or saddest moment of my life. Music is truly incredible. Thank you for the beautiful idea Carly. I hope this helps newly bereaved parents and brings love, light and hope into their lives. xxxx
ps I’m an idiot. My first link is broken, I don’t know if it can be deleted.. sorry about that Carls!
http://www.reverbnation.com/jodesfriends
Hope this link works Carly this will take you to the music player hopefully???
3
I also forgot to say my favourite line from a song at the moment.
“Sun sets on this ocean,
never once on my devotion”
Edward Vedder – “Without You” says it all really
Also the album “The Resistance” from MUSE has helped me and moved me so much in the last year, the orchestral sounds are so heartwarming and i used to cry on the bus on the way to work each morning listening to it on ipod.
<3 Jodes
I grew up with all types of music. I played the flute/piccilo and taught myself the organ after I just had to have one and my grandma made me practice everyday. I’m usually a rock and roll girl, but I also love movie scores and love love love Thomas Newman. White Oleander, American Beauty, and In the Bedroom are a few of my favorites. I like how the music allows your mind to go where it will without rule or restriction. I find that I have the best release of emotion when I choose this type of music.
I forgot to put in something for people to listen to. One song with words that I find mirrors my sadness is Bush’s remake of In a Lonely Place. It is very dark and heavy.I will see them live next week and wish they would play it live, but I highly doubt it. Here are the lyrics:
Caressing the marble and stone
Love that was special for one
The waste in the fever I heat
How I wish you were here with me now
Body that curls in and dies
And shares that awful daylight
Warm like a dog round your feet
How I wish you were here with me now
Hangman looks round as he waits
Cord stretches tight then it breaks
Someday we will die in your dreams
How I wish we were here with you now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk_qO1CqSC0
Jolene why didnt you tell us at LL that you had a blog?
i was hoping you would talk about nathans song here – its so perfect for him,
much love jodes xx
Missi i never would have thought, dark & heavy? oh how i love dark and heavy! xx
Jodie, sorry I didn’t tell you that I had a blog, it didn’t come up.? lol =) Lots of love to you too.
I’m going to enjoy this music class!