Life is just a whirlwind at the moment. Busy doesn’t begin to even cover what our lives are like. School, speech therapy, 70 new emails each morning, beach visits, doctor appointments, friendship gatherings, family gatherings, meetings – online and in person, interviews, trying my best to answer enquiries, work, sickness, more questions, parties, events, play time, reading time, movie time, dinner time, shower time. I feel like I need a remote control for life. And if I had that I would press pause first. After walking into River’s class today at school and hearing this song that her teacher was playing I felt my life slow down, I caught my breath. It was almost like I had stepped into another world where everything was calm, so calm that everything was in slow motion and it hit me that I really do need to slow down. I’ve decided that I am going to do just that.
So here is how I am feeling tonight…
What I’m excited about…
Seeing Florence + The Machine on Thursday with Holly.
August – August means seeing Sue.
What I’m worried about…
Winter.
The girls asthma, especially Ocea’s wheezy baby chest.
My sweet friend facing the first anniversary of her son’s passing.
What I’m craving…
More Ocea cuddles.
Pancakes.
A date night with Sam.
Sleep.
More pancakes.
Pretty much everything their cooking on Master Chef.
What I’m working on…
Photographs for Christian’s Beach.
And more for The Seashore.
Flower Faeries!
Miscarriage packs for August 19th.
Trying to answer emails, fb messages and website enquiries.
Making my website more simple.
An article for Still Standing Magazine.
New cards for Lost For Words.
Pinterest… Okay that’s probably not work.
The ceremony proceedings for our Beach Service for October 15th.
Word recognition with Scarlett.
Drawing pictures with River.
Talking with Ocea.
What I need to do less of…
Work – Hah!
Worrying, I really am working hard on this.
What I need to do more of…
Sleeping.
Reading.
Writing.
Placing my hands in the earth of my garden. I long for dirt under my nails.
Painting flowers with Scarlett.
What I’m angry about…
That some of my close who friends are struggling to get pregnant, let alone bringing a healthy babe home from the hospital.
And Mother’s Day sux bro. Hallmark you have managed to own this day now – how dare you.
What my heart is heavy about…
Christian… he just would have had so much fun with us. We are such a great family.
Griz… I just miss him.
Angie’s little baby died. So unfair. So cruel.
What I’m loving right now…
Sam following his dream.
Hawaii Five-O and NCIS LA joining for two episodes! Okay that’s lame.
Scarlett’s progress at speech therapy.
Movie night with our neighbours! Avengers! Come On!
Cadbury Dairy Milk Peanut Toffee and Cookie Creations… dude.
What I’m looking forward to…
I already mentioned Florence and Sue…
The Matt Corby gig in June.
The new Tinkerbell movie coming out.
Wednesday Offspring date nights with Amy.
Being a bridesmaid for the first time in October.
Spring.
Summer.
Christmas.
Who/what is inspiring me…
What I would do if I won the lotto this weekend…
I’d buy a big old house by Christian’s Beach and we would set it up as a free bed and breakfast for newly bereaved parents to get away to. I would create a beautiful reflection room filled with gorgeous artwork, candles, comfy couches and books. We would have a section for a small art gallery all made up of works by bereaved parents from all over the world. It would be a room for people to come and spend some quiet time in. I would run my friendship group from the memorial garden in the back yard, it would be filled with windchimes, lanterns and fairy lights. We would also start beach memorial services where families would be able to come down and scatter the ashes of their babies and children in the ocean. Oh how wonderful that would be.
10 things I’m grateful for…
Being able to get out of bed in the morning without any problems.
Pillows, blankets, my bed.
Clean hot water.
Our amazing family GP – Dr Koh, most awesome guy ever.
Parents. My beautiful parents.
Friends, especially the brave women who came to my Mother’s Day afternoon tea when they did not know anyone at all.
My brother for jumping on a plane to surprise me.
My children, they are my everything. Even the smallest one who has just covered my bed and wall in lipstick.
So this is how I am feeling right now. I am going to be making some changes to my work, nothing too major but it will involve me slowing down. I will bring everyone up to date on this shortly… thinking of making a video blog.
